Kentucky Fried Rasslin

[LWF fan Trav]

Scott Bowden's article detailing the Bret Hart biography.

comics101.com/?page=KFR

KENTUCKY FRIED RASSLIN'

By Scott Bowden

2007-11-15 - We're Not in Calgary Anymore

We're not in Calgary anymore: Scott Bowden looks at Bret Hart's early days in the Former Fed



Even more fascinating than the glimpse he provides into his own Corleone-type family (Bret = Michael; Bruce = Sonny), Bret Hart's detailed accounts of his early days in the World Wrestling Federation are the most enthralling chapters in his new book, HITMAN: MY REAL LIFE IN THE CARTOON WORLD OF WRESTLING.

As part of Stu's agreement to concede the territory to Vince McMahon's WWF juggernaut in 1985, Bret was promised a job, along with the Bulldogs and Jim Neidhart. Despite booker George Scott's promise that Bret would "work with all the top guys in all the top angles," Hart was leery. And with good reason. Bret writes how sick he felt when he showed up with Dynamite for their first bout under Vinnie's circus tent during one of those infamous marathon TV tapings of the early expansion years.



Under the big top: As celebrities like Cyndi Lauper and Liberace commanded the spotlight with Hulk Hogan, Bret initially struggled to find a place in the WWF circus.

Backstage at the Hamilton Civic Center, Bret marveled over the polished WWF stars spitting out concise promos for all the different cities on tour. Unlike most of the seasoned stars Vince had cherry-picked from all the regional promotions--Roddy Piper, Jesse Ventura, Paul Orndorff, and of course, Hulk Hogan--Bret was hardly the excellence of enunciation. In fact, he was downright nervous and awkward on the stick. Bret admits that he knew was at a disadvantage--he'd have to do his talking in the ring.

Trouble was, Bret writes, he was coming off knee surgery, so he had ring rust in his first bout in the Fed, teaming with Dynamite to devour a couple of jobbers. (Such wrestlers later become known under the corporate euphuisms "extras" and "enhancement talent.") After blowing a couple of spots--and nearly his knee in the process--Hart was ignored while Dynamite was singled out backstage by McMahon for his beautiful dive off the top rope. Bret's career in the Fed was off and limping.

After a solid performance in his second bout of the afternoon, Bret was startled to be admonished by backstage agent "Chief" Jay Strongbow for using the piledriver. "That's Orndorff's finisher! Don't use it again!" Bret wasn't in Calgary anymore. For the two afternoon bouts, Bret writes he was paid a whopping $50. Even with all the changes he was making to the business, McMahon apparently still subscribed to the old-school mentality that appearing on TV was a favor of sorts to help you get over and draw more money at the arenas.

In Bret's bio, you really get a sense of how the talent in the WWF was in awe of McMahon and his aggressive plans to take over the wrestling world. "While seizing power was a ruthless move, it was also a bold and brilliant one," he writes. The resulting pressure cooker had all the boys desperate to catch McMahon's eye--much like puppies in a pet store--and be catapulted to mainstream superstar status they'd never before dreamed. Bret recalls being constantly worried about losing his job and/or push--a desperate, sinking feeling that never quite left him, even after achieving success and climbing the WWF ladder. It didn't help that his brother Bruce constantly attempted to sabotage WWF's success in Calgary--and Bret's future--by starting up another Stampede territory in an ill-advised attempt to stay in the game.

Bret's ascent toward the top began almost with a potential setback. Booker Scott attempted to saddle Bret with a cowboy gimmick, in which Hart would ride to the ring on a horse, much like Jerry Lawler had done prior to his match with Hulk Hogan in Memphis in 1981. "Cowboy Bret Hart--just like the Rhinestone Cowboy! We'll sell the action figure with the horse right in the box!" Apparently, that was how WWF developed its gimmicks as part of its newfound focus on a family-friendly product in 1985. You can almost hear Bret responding like Jerry Seinfeld, "But I don't wanna be a Cowboy!!" Instead, Bret suggested to Scott that he be paired with brother-in-law Jim Neidhart as a tag-team, the Hart Foundation. Although stunned by Hart's rejection of a surefire money-making gimmick, Scott relented. Much later, after the Hart Foundation gimmick took off, Scott confided in Bret that he had thought Bret was doomed to opening-match status with Neidhart in what he thought was a bland gimmick.


Hart of a different color: After rejecting the cowboy gimmick, Bret’s initial Hart Foundation attire was black and blue. Horse sold separately.

Bret figured the key to getting the gimmick over would be getting paired in bouts with the Bulldogs, who were already on the fast track toward becoming true WWF Superstars. Little did he realize another component that would greatly figure into his success: manager Jimmy Hart, freshly plucked from Jerry Jarrett's and Lawler's Memphis territory. Paired with Hart, one of the best interviews in wrestling at the time, and Neidhart, Bret wouldn't have to worry about promos. He also learned to hide the nervousness that was apparent in his shifting eyes by wearing dark shades. After a few brilliant bouts with the Bulldogs, the Hart Foundation was starting to pump like a well-oiled machine.


You've gotta have Hart: The Mouth of the South handled most of the promos, while the Hitman and the Anvil excellently executed in the ring.

But while the Bulldogs were cashing in by appearing on cards with the red-hot Hogan, the Hart Foundation was mostly regulated to C-team shows. The difference in pay was significant for those riding the back of the Hulkster. In what some might say was an early sign of the arrogance and attitude he'd become known for in certain circles, Bret laments, "The Bulldogs were going to lose the belts, and it was doubtful the Hart Foundation would get them. This despite the fact that we'd had the best bouts by far with all the tag teams. Jim called us 'pseudo-superstars.'"

Bret also details the unique camaraderie among the boys, who were traveling like never before across North America. With the "help" of Neidhart, Bret was quickly initiated into the bad-boys club, a motley crew consisting of Adrian Adonis, Piper, Magnificent Muraco and the dreaded Iron Sheik. Bret claims he hesitated when Piper offered him a rolled-up dollar bill after eyeing the huge mound of cocaine in the bad boys' hotel hideaway. He didn't hesitate long, quickly snorting two lines. A bond between Hart and Piper was formed that night, swapping stories until the sun came up and the drugs were gone. It was Piper who inspired Bret to develop his promo skills: "He made me promise to practice doing promos in the mirror, on planes, in my room, anywhere." I have this image of a drooling, nearly passed-out Piper on an airplane mumbling a spiel, running down Hogan.

Throughout the rest of the book, Hart isn't as forthright about his drug use, as he mostly describes his indulgences with boys in vague terms like "partying." Hart is, however, very open about his biggest vice on the road: women. No matter how tough and hardened they appeared, all the boys felt the loneliness of quite possibly the toughest traveling schedule in wrestling history--with the possible exception of NWA World champions like Harley Race in the late '70s and Ric Flair in the early '80s. To cope, Hart had several affairs--some significant, others simply one-night stands. It seems the more Bret's career took off, the more his marriage to his wife, Julie, crumbled. Bret dismisses his actions: "My fondness for women kept me out of trouble. It may have even saved my life, when you consider how many wrestlers died from their drug and alcohol addictions." Wow--even Bret's transgressions are a much higher moral ground than the rest of us. Somehow, I'm not sure Julie would agree with Bret on that point.

But you have to cut Bret some slack, as the pressure of the road was clearly getting to him: "We had bought big houses that we were rarely able to enjoy and that were actually owned by the bank. I was sick of the whole routine, but I had too much at stake now. The only way I knew how to provide for my family was what was keeping me away from them."

How could Bret have known his career would soon be in the pink?

More next week.



This is definitely a must read for me. Ironic that Bret knew he was in for a wild ride and began recording/taping/writing down his experiences.

[The Executioner]

Great article. Thanks for sharing. Ah the good old days.

[LWF fan Trav]

Scott Bowden's new article.
comics101.com/?page=KFR

KENTUCKY FRIED RASSLIN'

By Scott Bowden

2007-11-29 - The Arrogance of Execution

The Arrogance of Execution: Scott Bowden's three-part look at Bret Hart's bio winds down with a look at the Hitman's blossoming career and ego in the '80s and '90s


"You'll be rich and famous in a far-out profession."
--Fortune-cookie message received by Bret Hart at the end of Chinese meal on Christmas 1987

Despite finding his niche in the Former Fed as part of the Hart Foundation, Bret Hart was becoming increasingly frustrated in 1985. In his bio, he writes that while big men like Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant were drawing the houses, "they never worked the kinds of fast-paced beautiful masterpieces that we did." Hart's attitude at that point is easy to understand, as he still wasn't a true WWF Superstar in his eyes or the fans' at that point, despite having some of the best matches in the business with partner Jim Neidhart vs. the British Bulldogs. In fact, Neidhart had taken to referring to himself and Hart as "pseudo Superstars."

To avoid being overshadowed by the massive bodies in the Fed at the time, Bret, like most of the boys, was a regular customer of Dr. Zahorian, who would be at the center of the federal government's case against Vince McMahon in the mid-'90s. Dr. Zahorian was a mark doctor, who supplied the boys with their "candies" -- steroids, painkillers, speed and downers. Looking back, Bret questions his own judgment as the dead bodies of wrestlers were already starting to pile up.

Oddly enough, it wasn't Hart's increased muscle mass that caught Vince's eye. A breakthrough for the Foundation came prior to an NBC SATURDAY NIGHT'S MAIN EVENT taping in '86. At the suggestion of their seamstress, Hart and Neidhart reluctantly decided to part from their typical black-and-blue and occasional black-and-red attire and wear "neon bubblegum pink" to the ring. Pleased when he saw their new look, McMahon told the stunned tandem, "Don't ever change that color! That's what you've been missing!" The pink-and-black attack was underway.

The Hart Foundation continued to have some of the best bouts in the company but were never targeted for the World tag belts until Dynamite Kid (Tom Billington) suffered a freak back injury that was more a cumulative result of the abuse he'd put his body through both in the ring and out. Despite Dynamite barely being able to walk, Vince pressured the Bulldogs to drop the belts in the ring. Billington agreed but only if they lost to the Hart Foundation -- an uncharacteristically unselfish moment for the English grappler. Later, Hart writes how dismayed he was to witness Dynamite's slow, agonizing fall from grace. Despite desperately wanting the belts as an affirmation of their greatness within the company, Hart claims that upon winning the straps he "vowed to himself to never forget that wrestling is a work."

Occasionally while reading his book, I questioned whether Bret accomplished that.

Bret was among the first to keep his copies of his straps and have them mounted on his wall like trophies, something the older wrestlers had a laugh over. It should be noted that a lot of the boys do that today. I noticed Chris Jericho had the two belts representing his "Undisputed World title" win over the Rock and Steve Austin in the same night hanging on his wall during an interview for the new Shawn Michaels DVD. I think the boys who grew up watching wrestling and were huge fans are more apt to be belt marks.

I'm reminded of when I called Jerry Lawler earlier this year to jokingly congratulate him on his HOF induction. His son Kevin Lawler had tipped me off that the King wasn't exactly thrilled with the honor because he'd be missing a rare Cleveland Indians exhibition game in Memphis. Besides, Lawler sees the WWE HOF for what it is: a marketing ploy. Upon receiving my call, Lawler said, "s**t. Right. That's like congratulating somebody for winning a fucking belt."

There are times in the book where you get a sense that Bret was clearly his biggest fan, with the exception perhaps of two young girls in Italy crying uncontrollably when they spied the Hitman leaving an arena. "We love you, Hitman," they screamed, tears streaming down their faces. Bret claims that upon seeing this, Jimmy Hart told him, "That's not something you see anywhere else for anybody else in this business." Maybe, maybe not.

You do get a true glimpse into how Bret saw himself and others during his run. More than anything, you can get insight into the ego of an increasingly successful wrestler over time. It's also interesting to read how Bret's relationship with McMahon evolves, from one of the first times McMahon complimented the Hart Foundation after a bout ("He actually spoke to us!") to the punch after the now-infamous 1997 Montreal Screwjob. You also get a feel for the often-empty promises McMahon delivered to not only Hart but countless others over years, including Owen Hart, who was buried underneath for years before Bret successfully lobbied for Owen -- not Bruce Hart -- to get the spot in the proposed brother vs. brother feud.

After going as far as he could with Neidhart in tag bouts, McMahon kept delaying plans for Hart's anticipated push as a singles star. Eventually, he followed through, with Hart winning the Intercontinental strap from Mr. Perfect in a great match at the '90 SUMMERSLAM event. I don't think I truly understood what a feat that match was for both wrestlers until reading Hart's book. I knew Curt was in pain entering the bout, but I don't think realized just how shot Hennig's back was. There's no way he should have been in the ring, let alone delivering such a first-rate, grueling performance.

Even more amazing than the Hennig bout: When Hart dropped the IC belt to Davey Boy Smith in an incredible bout at London's Wembley Stadium he was dealing with a panicked, fried Bulldog who had been in Florida for weeks smoking crack with Neidhart. Still, this was to be Bulldog's moment, but Hart had other ideas for the post-match scenario: "He was trying to milk the crowd. I was thinking, 'The drama is me, not them; for F**K's sake, please look at me, Davey!'"

Still, despite having the best bout in the company in ages, Bret was paranoid about his spot. The night McMahon informed him he'd be winning the World title, Bret thought he was being called into the boss' office to be fired.

Hart couldn't resist taking a few shots at Ric Flair, the man he won his first WWF heavyweight championship from, referring to the Nature Boy's style as "full-blast, non-stop non-psychology." Flair fired the first shots in his own bio, having the gall to accuse the Hitman of being repetitive when making his comebacks. I love both guys' work, so the criticisms seem petty to me. I will say, though, that Bret isn't the first one to knock Flair's chops as nonsensical. Lawler hated his bouts with Flair, claiming fans in Memphis wouldn't understand why a guy would chop a man instead of punching him. Then again, Lawler also booked Frankenstein's monster, Darth Vader, a Gene Simmons look-alike and Spider-Man himself in Memphis rings, so take that with a grain of Mr. Fuji's salt.

I wasn't exactly shocked to learn that Lawler and Hart didn't get exactly get along. Hart criticized that Lawler was stiff in the attack following his KING OF THE RING tournament win in 1993. Hart writes, "I vowed to myself that I'd get even with him later." And he supposedly did, with Hart writing that he potatoed Lawler repeatedly in their first PPV bout together and that the King had to crawl back to the dressing room on his belly like a crocodile. Even if that's true, I wouldn't exactly be proud of that.

Hart later complains that Shawn Michaels took liberties in their Iron Man match at WRESTLEMANIA 12, with several "potato shots." Again, it's hard to take Bret seriously at times when he complains about stuff like that. Ironically enough, Bret isn't nearly as hard on Goldberg, who ended his career with a stiff kick to the head. But I'm getting ahead of myself here.





I distrust some of Hart's claims because of what he wrote regarding his experiences working in Memphis. Maybe he didn't pack his tape recorder on those occasions -- maybe he just doesn't remember it right. But I don't recall the Memphis ring ropes being "garden hoses" and or there being bolts sticking out of the canvas. The ring was hard, sure, but Hart's ramshackle description is overdone, complete with his claim that "hillbillies" were in the audience. I was working in the area at the time, and the Memphis crowd, especially around ringside, was relatively sophisticated compared to the cesspools in Nashville and Jonesboro. Besides, I'm sure the Stampede crowds were far more refined. I suppose it's easy and fun to poke fun at Southerners.

Hart also writes, "Lawler had the biggest crowd in years, more than 5,000 rasslin' fans hoopin' and hollerin' and hurlin' garbage at us. By the end, the fans were fixing to fetch ropes to strings us up." In reality, the crowd was up for the Owen/Bret vs. Lawler/Jeff Jarrett main event on August 16, 1993 -- 1,800 fans (not 5,000) were there, up from a crowd of 1,500 the previous week for a Lawler vs. Mr. Perfect main event. The crowd at the Coliseum jumped to 3,567 on August 23, the largest of the year, for a Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna main event. (I can only imagine the stress Yoko put on the "garden-hose" ring ropes.) Bret also writes that a cage-rematch between the two teams took place two weeks later, when actually it was a singles bout between the King and the Hitman on August 29, which drew 2,100.

On February 14, 1996, Hart returned with the Undertaker to team vs. Lawler and Jarrett, a card which I also worked, which drew 1,100. I recall all the prelim guys like Reggie B. Fine jockeying to get their photos made with the WWF stars in the dressing room -- pictures they would sell to fans weeks later at the gimmick table.

Still, that's nitpicking. The book rebounds to deliver the goods on the Montreal Screwjob. While I understand how both men's massive egos inevitably divided Michaels and Hart, I don't fully agree with the Hitman's argument that the program had been "geared toward the Canadian hero winning"; nor do I see how he would have lost "all his self-respect" if Michaels had beaten him in Canada. Granted, there was heat between the two and most agree that Michaels had been unbearable to work with at the time. The lines were really blurred between fiction and reality, with both wrestlers taking things too personally and responding in kind, e.g., Hart was upset that Michaels picked his nose with the Canadian flag, while HBK supposedly was angry that Hart joked about his PLAYGIRL appearance. Um, it's a work, fellahs. Personal issues draw money. I think they both lost sight of that fact. But they were both younger and brasher then -- and both believed they should be on top.
BretMichaels.jpg


Still, Hart was willing to drop the title to 'Taker or Austin, so it seems like a compromise could have been made somewhere along the way. I mean, I do see McMahon's point on having Hart put over his designated replacement -- after all, it was wrestling tradition from the territory days for a departing star to do jobs on the way out. Nevertheless, I feel for Bret, and ultimately I can't support McMahon's decision to get the title off Hart that way after all they'd been through together. And it's not as if Bret wanted to leave for WCW to begin with -- he simply couldn't turn that kind of money down, especially when it appeared that Michaels and Triple H had Vince's ear on the direction the company was headed. The deceitfulness displayed by Vince, referee Earl Hebner, HBK and Trips was a new low for the business.

The book closes with Hart's personal reflections on the death of his brother Owen and the sheer hell his family went through in the months afterward. There's also some reflection on some touching moments the two brothers spent together before the tragedy at Kemper Arena in Kansas City. The downhill slide Hart's career took in WCW only further killed his spirit, culminating with his career-ending injury. If you didn't think Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo were two overrated, lucky jerks before, you will after reading Hart's thoughts on how WCW was being run during the Hitman's run. Bret is also forthright about the struggles he went through in the months following his stroke as well. The guy's been through more than any man should have to endure the past 10 years, including the deaths of both parents.

Overall, HITMAN: MY REAL LIFE IN THE CARTOON WORLD OF WRESTLING is a fantastically exhaustive, mostly honest look at one of the most brilliant wrestling careers of all time. More than anything, you can tell Bret put his heart and soul into the book, something that can't be said for most wrestling books. It's miles better than Chris Jericho's book, which was also an entertaining read, and slightly better than Mick Foley's HAVE A NICE DAY -- the measuring stick by which all wrestling bios are measured.

[The Executioner]

This is really great stuff. An amazing look at one of my favorite wrestlers of all time (and CPB's too, oh please come back CPB).
Hillbillies at a Lawler match?! NEVER.

[LWF fan Trav]

It's funny, I've talked with Scott and the similarities with us are amazing! We are basically the same age, started watching Memphis wrestling around the same time, have many of the same interests, and his first name is Travis as well.

A good guy, I hope he can make it out to a CAC reunion. I'd love to meet him. The 1st thing he ever said to me, on a rare visit to the Louisville Gardens, was, "I came to Louisville for this" after we were cheering him.